Food...Food...Food

Who doesn't like to eat food when the it feels so good to eat food? especially when it has been presented in a very tempting manner...I've been kinda-sorta addicted to food presentations lately and...taddahh...hahaha...even my simplest breakfast, I had to arrange to get my appetite.. I know I still have to practice on presentations...hekhekhek...


BAKED MACARONI

Once upon a yumi-no-sekken's birthday, yumi baked the yumi-est mac on town... lolz... with a three-cheese pasta sauce mixed with some button mushroom slices and mushroom sauce, thyme and sage, with a little mayo to add some magical sour taste..lol



TUNA BALLS

There was one time my dad traveled south to Mindanao and brought a ton of tuna flakes that we didn't even know what to do with it... Until one brilliant yumi-no-sekken afternoon, I discovered a yummy tuna ball recipe in the corners of my crammed mind... lolz... Some batter of starch, ground black pepper, sage and thyme; a toasted bread crumbs breading; and some pickles to add flavor to the dish... and taddaaahhh.... a yummy healthy dinner for the family!!!



hmmmmm.... Life's full of food!...LOL

THE GIGGLED FIRSTS

It's exactly 6:03am, 15th of December year 2008 - a heart throbbing Monday morning. my phone beeped and as I checked it, my palms sweat to the thrill and excitement of "the first eye contact"...
He was checking on where I already am. I was just a couple of minutes away from the terminal then.

We were supposed to meet at around 8 o'clock in the morning. We did not own our time. my mom has me 10 o'clock onwards and his work has him at around 2 o'clock in the afternoon. It would be our first meeting, and it feels kind of awkward. But all the tipsy acts won't work this time, we only have barely one and a half hour.

"i am already infront of Chiradees". he sent through short messaging.

"where's that? i'm going downstairs already, i am at the fifth floor" . I was in my mom's office, she left me in the room as I told her i have a date after our breakfast. And so I walked down the stairs, taking some time to think instead of taking the elevator. As I took my last step on the ground floor , I checked around me to see if "he" was around... I only saw the guard. Then my phone beeped:

"in front of marie jack"

I recall a "marie jack canteen" on my way to mom's office. It was one of the "eatery", "carinderia" and "canteens" that line in front of the mariano marcos state university liason office and the national tobacco administration building, where my mom is. I sweeped my sight on the eateries along scout reyes but found no one until I saw a man in green shirt with an emo print, in a dark blue cap - with an emo print again, gray checkered shorts, black socks, black and-white checkerboard designed sneakers carrying a big silky bag with incomprehensible prints from afar.

"are you wearing a green shirt?". I replied


"hehe.." he said

"nahihiya akong lumapit" I told him

"asan ka ba?" he asked

"Ludy's...hehe" I replied as I saw a certain "Ludy's carinderia" across the road. Then I stepped upfront and we met halfway...:D

...to be continued...
"THE BANANA DATE"

The Stages of Grieving

according to Kubler-Ross, there are actually 5 stages of grieving in which we summarize as DABDA -Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance...

Well, based on how i have been through things in my life, this is what actually happens. And as I go through another catastrophe in my life, I would follow these stages... as I deny that I have not broken up with him... until I have accepted it...Where am I?

Denial

Am I at this stage? Have I said this? "No, we're still together... we just had a little fight and I know we can fix it. We'll be fine"

Anger

Or am I at this stage? Have I said this? "Damn him! He cheated on me! How could he do this? He's such a jerk!" until I have said "I am done with you! We're over!"

Bargaining

Or am I asking for alternatives? "God, please give him back to me... I have not been thinking about what I have said and of what I have done...", like as if I am hoping we'll be back together so I would do all the things, all the ways I could so we could be together again...

Depression

Or have I run short of alternatives or my alternatives did not work such that I feel so hopeless... that I feel so much deeply in despair? saying "I wanna feel numb, I wanna die, I'm broken"

Acceptance

Or have I accepted the fact that we're done? "I am moving on"...


-----

i want to add a stage to Kubler-Ross's stages... "REBOUND DEPRESSION"... when I have accepted that we're done... and now I feel hopeless of moving on... like I can no longer find ways to be happy... i dunno... maybe this is "TRANSITORY DEPRESSION" from being depressed of the real thing to being depressed of how to accept things...

I know I am such a fool to be crying over some guy who's not really worthy of the love i have for him...I have loved too much, trusted too much...now it's so difficult to accept things...

now, i have to find ways of fixing myself...i have to fix myself...i must fix myself...right NOW!

the IRONY of my Name

does your name matter to you? do you find it beautiful as it sounds pretty? or do you find it so wonderful as it actually has its own awesome meaning?

so tell me, what does your name mean?

my name is Eunice Aimee. do you know what it means?

Eunice means "happily victorious" in Greek terminologies, and it means "assured faith" from the languages of the Holy Bible and Aimee means "beloved" in the French.

my parents said that I was named after the mother of Timothy in the Bible, and that they picked Eunice as my dad wanted us, his children, to have our names start with a letter "E".

I just learned what it actually meant when I saw this vintage book my parents used when they were naming us. It is entitled "What shall we name the baby?" by Winthrop Ames.



Isn't Ironic that I am called Eunice when I am not happy? I am not even as victorious as what my name imply? Isn't it so stupid to even think that it meant "assured faith" when I have these points in my life that I have doubted Him? And so it's very ironic that it meant "beloved" when I don't even feel so loved...

I guess it only meant one thing... I should live according to my name then rather than indulging in the beauty of what it is not...

like the negative part of the picture looks better than when it is not. but it is still better to live as I am than pretend to be someone so perfect just to try what is ideal.

holding on

i dunno how to express how i feel now... i feel so bothered, so sad, hopeless... yet i am holding on...